Self-sufficiency

In this article, I would like to raise the question of how to stay happy regardless of who you are with. Be it a loved one or an ill-wisher. We’ll talk about maintaining balance: how not to overestimate loved ones and not belittle enemies.

Striving for self-sufficiency in our sense of love

What is love?

We all fall in love in different ways. Every week someone finds his new half, and someone finds it hard. I personally never succeeded in falling in love with a stranger. This happened after a couple of months of meetings, and each time lasted long enough. Each next love excluded the previous one. And it so happened that throughout my life my heart always belonged to someone.

When I started to practice meditation, I began to analyze these feelings. And I understood the following:

• Despite the fact that the objects of my love were different people - the feelings inside me were the same.
• When you love someone, you can feel the whole spectrum of these feelings even when you are at a distance from a person. Think about the moment in your life when you felt absolute love. Remember and feel what you felt at that very moment. Think about it for a couple of minutes - and this love fills your heart again!

I concluded and realized that love comes from me. What is it I am love. And all the people to whom I experienced these feelings are a projection of the love that lives in me. Sadhguru, the great yogi mentor from India, said that if you devote enough time to something that is absolutely indifferent to you, for example, a tree, then over time you can love it just like we fall in love with people.

Can one always love?

We are able to project love on everything and on everyone. This is a wonderful gift that absolutely everyone has. Imagine how beautiful your world will be if you feel love every moment. To the stone, to the passerby, to the neighbor, to the seller in the store - always and everywhere. This is worth learning. Meditation helps you a lot in this.

On the other hand, just imagine how you will be a wonderful and pleasant person for others. What joy and inexplicable happiness they will feel near you.

You should not reflect all your feelings only to your man, child, mother or father. No, I'm not saying that you need to love a mother just like a stone. I am not saying that one should try to love her less - no, that’s nothing. On the contrary, be grateful to everyone and everything that makes you feel this wonderful feeling.

But at the same time, I strongly recommend that you and yourself learn to find love in everything!

What will it give you?

• Every minute you will receive and give others the most wonderful feeling in the world: love. No matter where you are or who you are with. As long as YOU are with you (sorry for the tautology and pun), joy will not leave you.
• In nature, everything strives for balance. By sharing your love between many things, you will become free. Independent from other people. SELF-SUFFICIENT. Your partner or child will also feel this freedom, realizing that your happiness does not depend on their choice and actions.
• Very soon you will notice that you are getting returns from the world. People will become more friendly towards you. You will notice that life is becoming easier. And the white stripes in your life are becoming longer. It may sound silly, but that’s how it works!

Learning to resist negative people

It’s easy enough to project your love somewhere in the mountains, away from society. But the life of a modern person also includes daily stresses and interaction with not very pleasant personalities. How to protect yourself from them? How not to succumb to their influence and not give up your energy?

As a rule, we quite simply cope with the negative emanating from strangers. A casual comment thrown at you by a passerby, although it does not make you happy, is nevertheless quickly forgotten.

The situation is worse with the negative that comes from people from our close circle: at work, at home.

Two practical tips for countering negativity:

• 1. If the negative is not directed at you personally - just leave the situation. Do not waste your energy on this, concentrate on your own affairs or concentrate on a feeling of love for a stone, for example 😉 You should not go where you are not called, even with good intentions.
• 2. If the negative is directed directly at you, then first of all take the situation into your own hands: set your own scenario for the game. Do not succumb to provocations, be it aggression or cry. Imagine this is happening to someone else, not you. This does not mean that you need to ignore this person - no. This is a bad move, since it is also a kind of provocation on your part.

The best way would be your inadequate response.

Suppose someone tells you that you are a poor specialist in your field.

The first reaction (“adequate”) is to start arguing, to prove that it is not so, to bring refuting arguments, to get angry. As a result, this will further heat up the situation. After all, an attacker is not so important whether you are a good or bad specialist. The main goal is to take away your energy, throw your negativity at you.

The second reaction (“adequate”) is to be offended, to be upset.

The third reaction (“inadequate”) is to remain calm, to realize that you are not so important to the person, as your energy is needed. Indeed, in any case, everyone thinks primarily about themselves. All! Even the person interviewing you first of all thinks about how he plays his role.

Stay calm and agree with everything he says. It is enough to say: “Yes, indeed, I still have something to learn, I will work on myself, thank you for drawing my attention!” In principle, this phrase alone can ALREADY end the beginning conflict!

So, to remain always happy, 1) Give love to everything that surrounds you, and not just selected units. 2) Reflect external stimuli like a mirror. Stay inside always calm and joyful. If someone expects a sad face from you? Make a sad face. But inside, always remember who you truly are.

Your real Self is pure boundless love and joy.